Baby
by The-Oddish
Summary: What would the X-Men do if they found a baby on the doorstep of the Institute?
1. Chapter One

What would the X-Men do if they found a lost baby on the doorstep of the Institute?  
  
"Kurt!" Kitty's voice rang out shrilly. "I'm like, trying to do my homework here!"  
  
He teleported away from her, slightly hurt. "I was only joking," he muttered back, but there was no way she could hear him now. All he'd been doing was teleporting around her room and popping up in front of her half the time. And, okay, so she had spilt chocolate milkshake down her top, but that was hardly Kurt's fault, because... well, she shouldn't have been drinking it. Kurt propped himself up on the edge of his balcony, but he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he didn't notice a figure wrapped in a dark cloak running up to the doorstep and running away again.  
  
"Kurt?" Kitty asked, walking hurriedly towards his room. She'd finished her homework, and wanted to check Kurt was okay. "Kurt?" She stepped through his door without bothering to ask if it was all right, and stared around the room. She caught sight of the open doors at the far side of the room.  
  
"Whatcha doing?" she asked, pulling herself up next to him.  
  
"Thinking," said Kurt glumly.  
  
"Oh..." Kitty was about to say something when she stopped. "Did you hear something?"  
  
"Hear vas?" Kurt asked, without even bothering to remember what the English word for "vas" was.  
  
"It was like... like..." She peered over the edge of the railings, trying not to fall off in the process. "Like a... baby crying."  
  
Kurt shook his head. "It couldn't have been." But he could hear it too. He strained his ears to try and hear it, but it suddenly stopped.  
  
"Someone better check," Kitty said. "I mean, you can't leave a baby outside all night, it would like, freeze to death."  
  
Kurt considered teleporting down, but realised it might disturb the baby... if it was a baby. It was probably a cat or something. Either way, Kitty and Kurt crept downstairs together to have a look.  
  
They were just by the front door when Scott appeared. "Where are you two sneaking off to?" he asked.  
  
Kitty had two ideas in her head: one, "we heard a noise like a baby so we thought we better investigate" and two, "we were gonna sneak off and go and see a late night movie together." The complete lie sounded more plausible and less stupid, but would get them both in trouble. Plus Kurt was hardly likely to go out anywhere without his image inducer on. So she said, "Er... we were just like, um..."  
  
"We heard an animal and thought it might have got stuck in the dustbin," Kurt lied smoothly.  
  
Scott shrugged. "I'll wait here for you."  
  
Kitty shrugged and pulled Kurt through the door. There, sat on the doorstep, was a baby basket. In it was a blue blanket, a bottle, another blanket (green), and... a real, live, sleeping baby.  
  
Kitty and Kurt looked at each other. "Mein Gott."  
  
"What do we do with it?" Kitty asked nervously.  
  
"Give it to Scott?" Kurt suggested.  
  
"Get real, Kurt! What would Scott know about babies?"  
  
"He could give it to Jean as a present," Kurt said hopefully.  
  
"Kurt! Be serious!" Kitty wailed.  
  
"Ach," Kurt sighed. "Scott and Jean will know what to do. So we can give it to them."  
  
"No way!" Kitty interrupted. "I found it, it's mine!"  
  
"Nein! It was under my balcony, I should get it!" Kurt argued loudly.  
  
His voice awoke the baby, who stared up at Kurt with wide eyes. It gurgled.  
  
"It speaks," Kurt said stupidly.  
  
"We have to take it inside and let Scott and Jean sort it all out," Kitty said. "But I want to keep it. I want to call it... um..."  
  
"Kurt Junior?" Kurt suggested.  
  
"No!"  
  
Scott wrenched the door open. "What are you two doing, standing out here? It's all cold and dark and damp and-" Scott stopped. "What the hell is that?"  
  
"It's Kurt Junior," Kurt said.  
  
"You don't even know it's a boy yet!" Kitty disagreed.  
  
"I don't care!" Kurt said childishly.  
  
"Someone please tell me what's going on," Scott said tiredly. "What is it, where did it come from, and why are you arguing?"  
  
"It was on the doorstep," Kitty said, just as Kurt said, "It's a baby." 


	2. Chapter Two

"Oh Lord, what are we going to do with it?" Scott wailed dramatically.  
  
"Take it inside, it'll freeze out here," Kitty said.  
  
"Nein! It's mine, I'll carry it!" Kurt said angrily as Kitty tried to pick the basket up.  
  
"No, I will!" Kitty yanked the basket towards her. The baby gave a wail.  
  
"Calm down guys!" Scott interrupted. "Let's just take it inside and-"  
  
He never got a chance to finish because Jean stuck her head around the door and cut him off. "What on earth are you doing outside in the cold?" She suddenly noticed the baby basket in Kitty's arms. "And what the hell is that?"  
  
"It's a baby," said Kitty, who was getting thoroughly sick of saying it.  
  
"A baby?" Jean looked confused. "What are you doing with it?"  
  
"Babysitting?" Kurt suggested. Kitty elbowed him in the ribs. She barged past all three of them to take him inside, and Kurt, Scott, and Jean turned and followed her.  
  
Inside, Evan was watching TV, Rogue was listening to her personal stereo with her eyes closed, Jubilee and Amara were spread out on the floor pouring over a magazine, and everyone else was... well, who knows where? No one even looked up as the four of them traipsed in.  
  
Kitty gently lifted the baby up out of the basket. It was dressed in a pale green sleep suit, apparently fairly clean (well, no baby sick down it anyway, Kitty thought). It was being quiet for the moment.  
  
Scott started rummaging through the blankets in the basket. He was handing Kurt bottles and blankets, and Kurt was standing there, looking confused.  
  
Kitty started bouncing the baby in the air, and it gave a tentative giggle. It had dark matted hair, dark eyes, and quite dark skin. Its cheeks were pink. Kitty started talking in baby talk to it. "Aren't you the cutest sweetest little baby ever?" she cooed.  
  
Evan glanced across the room, his eyes only leaving the TV for a moment. Then after a few seconds he realised something was wrong. "Where the hell did that come from?"  
  
"Kitty gave birth to it on the front porch," Kurt said sarcastically and German-ly.  
  
"Seriously?" Evan gave him a Look. "Where did it really come from?"  
  
"She just appeared outside," Kitty explained, still watching the baby and not Evan. She carried on babbling at it.  
  
"Don't get too attached to it," Jean warned. "I don't think we'll be able to keep it."  
  
Kitty sighed. "Aww, she's so gorgeous! Aren't you? You know you are, yes you are!" she giggled to herself.  
  
Evan made a being-sick noise. "Why do all females go like that when there's a baby around?" he asked, more to himself than anyone else. He turned back to the TV, but kept glancing back at Kitty and the baby.  
  
Jubilee and Amara looked up and stopped giggling, suddenly aware something had happened. Instead of the usual "what the hell?", the two of them dashed over to Kitty and started on the predictable baby talk.  
  
Jean was about to issue another warning, but she couldn't help herself. She peered over Kitty's shoulder and started up the nonsense talk herself.  
  
Scott looked up from the completely empty basket. "There's no note or anything, just a bottle and a couple of blankets," he reported.  
  
"How could anyone desert such a wonderful little baby?" Jean asked, really getting into the spirit of it.  
  
"Can I hold it?" Jubilee asked.  
  
"Me too, me too!" Amara added.  
  
"Me next!" Kurt continued.  
  
"Not me," Evan shrugged. "I'm not a baby sort of person."  
  
Rogue's CD must have finished, because she opened her eyes and looked around the room. She focused on Kitty, and stopped. She could only see Kitty with Amara, Jubilee, Jean and Kurt gathered around her, but she figured something must have been going on, because Kitty wasn't that interesting. She didn't speak, but stared over at them. After a while, she realised whatever Kitty had in her arms was being passed around, and was so interesting that she'd never be able to see through the crowds of people. So she got up, and wandered casually over.  
  
Amara was holding the baby, while Kitty and Kurt watched over them nervously, like first-time parents. Rogue peered over Jubilee's shoulder and gasped. "Where did you get that?"  
  
Everyone jumped, and stared at Rogue. They'd all been so busy with the baby they hadn't even noticed Rogue getting up.  
  
"Like, don't do that!" Kitty said accusingly.  
  
"Do what? And what IS that?" She asked unnecessarily, because it was fairly obvious what it was.  
  
"It's a baby, do you want to hold him?" Jean asked.  
  
"Her," Kitty said stubbornly.  
  
"Why don't you just check?" Evan asked, still watching the TV but not taking in a single thing.  
  
"Er..." said Rogue.  
  
"Have you got your gloves on?" Scott checked.  
  
"Ah'm not stoopid! Ah'm not gonna set my powers on a defenceless baby!" Rogue retorted. "Now give it here." 


	3. Chapter Three

"Are you going to be careful with her?" Amara checked before she handed the precious bundle over.  
  
"Ah know what Ah'm doing'!" Rogue replied indignantly. "Now, give, give, give, give, give!"  
  
Amara gave it one last hug before passing it over to Rogue.  
  
"You're gonna have to tell Xavier about it," Evan interrupted, the TV remote still in his hand. "And the professor's gonna want to put it in the hands of someone who knows how to look after babies."  
  
"Like Logan?" Kitty suggested. Kurt fell about laughing, imagining Logan pushing a pram down the street talking baby talk.  
  
"Where did all the adults go?" Jubilee inquired.  
  
"Er..." faltered Scott. The thing was, he had a good idea where they'd gone. It was a "we're going out for the evening, you and Jean are in charge" sort of explanation with no real mention of where they were going, and Scott seemed to remember that last time they did that, the professor came back trying to do wheelies in his wheelchair, Storm and Logan were singing a duet of "It's Raining Men" (badly) and giggling, Mr McCoy had passed out outside, and all four of them woke up the next morning with splitting headaches and hardly any recollection of what they'd done the night before. However, Scott felt telling the younger students that their teachers had gone out drinking was setting a bad example. "I'm not sure," he finished vaguely.  
  
Jubilee wasn't listening any more; she was trying to get the baby to look at her.  
  
Rogue smiled at the baby. "Aww... you're so sweet and gorgeous and wonderful and cute and adorable, and... man you need your diaper changing NOW."  
  
Suddenly the rush of volunteers to hold it had disappeared.  
  
"Ah'm not doin' it," Rogue said quickly.  
  
"I'm like, not really a dirty diaper sort of person," Kitty added.  
  
"We don't even have any spare diapers," Scott pointed out.  
  
"Uh oh," said Kitty.  
  
"I'll rush out to the nearest 24 hour store and get baby supplies, and you lots stay here and... baby-sit," Scott finished. And he left. In a hurry.  
  
"You hold it, Kitty," Rogue said.  
  
"No, it's okay, you can do that," Kitty replied.  
  
"No," said Jubilee as they both looked at her. "No way."  
  
"Jean, the professor left you in charge," Amara said nervously, "so I think it's best if you look after it."  
  
"But it's Kurt's," she said hurriedly.  
  
"I don't want it!" Kurt looked horrified. "That thing stinks!"  
  
"That thing" suddenly opened its mouth and started wailing at the top of its lungs.  
  
"Like what did you DO to it, Rogue?" Kitty asked, practically wailing herself.  
  
"Ah don't know, maybe it's hungry or it doesn't lahke being stinky any more than we lahke it," Rogue said anxiously.  
  
Evan put his hands over his ears and turned back to the TV.  
  
It was at this point that Bobby came into the room, closely followed by Jamie. "What is going ON?" Bobby called loudly.  
  
"It's a baby," Amara yelled back.  
  
Bobby, who had suddenly stopped, had Jamie walk straight into him and suddenly the floor was littered with Jamies, all with slightly annoyed looks on their faces.  
  
"What's a baby doing here?" all the Jamies asked at once.  
  
"I don't know," Kitty and Amara yelled together.  
  
"I think it's gonna explode," Jean said worriedly.  
  
"Somebody stop it, please," Kitty wailed.  
  
"Somebody else hold it. Maybe it doesn't lahke me," Rogue demanded.  
  
"We don't want it!" Kitty answered.  
  
"How do Ah make it stop?" Rogue asked.  
  
"How should we know?" Jubilee yelled. "Maybe Scott will be back soon."  
  
"Come on Scott, come on, please," Amara begged, in a rather pathetic attempt at telepathy. "Hurry and get back, save us from this wailing demon..."  
  
"It's not a demon!" Kurt said, hurt. "It's a banshee."  
  
"Save us from the wailing banshee," Amara corrected herself.  
  
"Take it away from me!" Rogue yelled.  
  
All the yelling made the baby scream louder-if that was possible.  
  
"Do you think it's a mutant baby?" Kitty yelled suddenly.  
  
"Maybe," Kurt replied.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, 'MAYBE!'" Kurt roared back.  
  
"The professor will make us keep it!" Kitty wailed.  
  
"It can sleep in Logan's room," Kurt said. 


	4. Chapter Four

"Oh yeah, Logan can just like, spend half his night getting up to feed the baby," Kitty said loudly over the wailing. "And then be really grouchy when he's teaching us the next morning. Great."  
  
"Keep it in your room then!" Kurt replied.  
  
"No!" yelled Kitty. Just as the whole room went silent. Rogue looked at the baby in her arms that was suddenly quiet. "Er... Ah haven't broken it, have Ah?"  
  
"Maybe it just exhausted itself screaming," Evan offered.  
  
The baby gave a huge yawn, and then curled up asleep in Rogue's arms. "Aww..." sighed Rogue. "It's so cute when it's asleep!"  
  
"Everyone be really quiet," Amara said in a stage whisper. "Don't wake it up!"  
  
"When's Scott going to be back?" Jean asked, staring at her watch. "He's been gone at least ten minutes. Come on Scott, we need you NOW."  
  
"We should call it Kurt Junior," Kurt said, completely changing the subject.  
  
"No way! If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't have found her," Kitty interrupted. "I am so going to name her myself, and I'm going to call her..." she paused, thinking. "Rebecca Elizabeth Rosemary Daffodil Emily Annabel Marie."  
  
"How about Scott?" Jean suggested. "Or just Emily for a girl."  
  
"Rover," called Evan from where he was still sat, stretched across the sofa.  
  
"Rover?" Rogue asked, confused.  
  
"Yeah, Rover," Evan said. "You know, as in the dog's name?"  
  
Rogue turned her nose up. "Lyndsey? Or Amanda. Maybe Lyndsey Marie."  
  
"Sunshine," offered Amara. "Or Aurora."  
  
"Or Moonbeam," Bobby said with a slight snort.  
  
"Moonshine," Jamie added.  
  
"Those are hippy's kid's names!" Kitty said.  
  
"So?" said Bobby, straight-faced.  
  
"She is SO not a hippy child!"  
  
"Kurt Junior!" Kurt protested.  
  
"No Kurt!" Kitty argued. "Anything but that!"  
  
Jubilee shrugged and said, "It might be a boy."  
  
"She isn't!" Kitty said, just as Kurt said, "It is."  
  
"Alexandria-Marie or Alexander," Rogue said.  
  
"Kurt Junior!" Kurt said stubbornly.  
  
"Kurt, no one wants to be called Kurt Junior," Kitty said bluntly.  
  
"Oh Scott, where are you?" Jean pondered out loud. Then the door flew open, and Jean need ponder no more, for Scott had returned. "Diapers... baby food... everything," he panted, having run from the car. He dumped the bags on the floor.  
  
"Someone will have to change it," Kitty said in an obvious tone. "Bagsie not me."  
  
"Or me," Kurt put in quickly.  
  
There was a whispered argument as everyone refused to do it, when Evan looked up. "If it's such a big deal, I'll do it," he offered.  
  
Everyone stared at him.  
  
"It's no big deal," he shrugged. "Just give us the baby, the diaper, and the place to do it, and I'll do it for you."  
  
Rogue handed the baby over hurriedly before Evan changed his mind.  
  
"I'll even find out if it's a boy or girl for you," he grinned.  
  
"I bet you five dollars it's a girl," Kitty said to Kurt, who had been sulking ever since Kitty had told him no one wanted to be Kurt Junior.  
  
"Five dollars and a Mars bar it's a boy," Kurt replied.  
  
"You're on!" Kitty said, shaking his hand.  
  
Scott handed over the carrier bag. "Use the table over there... better put this blanket down on it first though."  
  
"Yeah, okay, I will be with you anon," Evan smirked. "What? It really isn't a big deal, I used to baby-sit a lot."  
  
"I so did not want to know that," Kitty whispered to Kurt.  
  
"So," Evan called back, "does this mean I get to name it?"  
  
"NO!" everyone yelled in a whisper, thinking of Rover. 


	5. Chapter Five

"There, all done!" Evan said proudly. "Mrs Wagner, I am pleased to tell you that Rover is a beautiful baby girl."  
  
"Shut it, Doctor Daniels," Kitty said with a scowl, taking "Rover" from him. Then she smiled. "Kurt, you owe me five dollars and a Mars bar, remember?"  
  
"Aww... not fair," Kurt mumbled, fumbling in his pockets.  
  
Scott looked at his watch. "Oh, jeez, it's nearly midnight! Jubilee, Amara, Jamie, Bobby, you should be in bed!"  
  
"Scott, the adults are all out, can't we stay up later?" Bobby begged.  
  
Scott sighed. "No! Go to bed!"  
  
Amara mumbled, "so unfair," but they all turned to go upstairs and go to bed. Slowly.  
  
"So we're calling her Rover?" Evan asked hopefully. Hoping that Scott wouldn't insist they all went to bed too.  
  
"That's cruel!" Kitty argued. Kurt disagreed too, but Kitty said that Kurt Junior was also not a good name. Kurt started sulking again.  
  
"Betty Ann," suggested Scott (it was the first name to come into his head).  
  
"Rover!" Evan said insistently.  
  
"Logan," Rogue teased.  
  
"That's genius," Evan said in an awed voice. "Not as good as Rover though."  
  
"Where is it gonna sleep?" Kitty asked. "We like, don't have a crib or anything."  
  
"In the basket," Scott said. "No Evan, not a dog basket."  
  
"And whose room is it gonna sleep in?" Kitty added.  
  
"Logan's," Kurt said again.  
  
"I so cannot imagine Logan looking after a baby," Kitty said, and she giggled.  
  
"What is that noise?" Scott asked nervously.  
  
"Well, it's either the adults come back drunk, or it's a mutiny," Jean said, staring upwards to where a lot of giggling was drifting down.  
  
Scott sighed and turned to go upstairs. Up in Bobby's room, he found Amara, Jamie, Bobby, Rahne, Jubilee, and Roberto all sitting on Bobby's bed. It was clear that they had started a game of Shove Everyone Else Off the Bed, because Rahne squealed and went flying across the floor. "Ow!"  
  
"Yes! Two points to me!" Bobby grinned. He looked up and his face fell. "Oh, hi Scott."  
  
"You said go to bed," Jubilee said. "So we did." She shoved Jamie from behind, and suddenly Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, and Jamie were all sat on the floor, rubbing their sore behinds.  
  
"Well, I did-" Darn, he hated it when they were right. He hadn't said which bed. Although you would have thought it was obvious.  
  
"We were gonna play Spin the Bottle," Amara said. "Do you want to join in? Waaah!" She squealed as Jubilee shoved her from behind and she bounced over the carpet. "No fair, Jubilee!"  
  
"No," said Scott firmly. They were too worked up to sleep now, and no one else was going to get any sleep, because if the baby didn't wake them and keep them awake, they'd certainly be disturbed by the adults coming in later. "Alright, you can stay up, but do it quietly, okay? And no destroying the furniture."  
  
"Aww... not even a little destruction?" Bobby begged.  
  
"No!" Scott said, and turned and left quickly. He considered checking on whoever was left, but he changed his mind at the last minute and headed back downstairs. 


	6. Chapter Six

It was about an hour later that Scott flopped down in an armchair, which, if you're counting, makes it about half one in the morning. The baby was back asleep (she'd only woken up about six times to be fed, sang to, just to cry, and horrors of horrors, be changed), and Scott was exhausted. "We are NEVER having kids," he informed Jean wearily.  
  
Kurt, Evan, Kitty and Rogue had only just stopped arguing about what to name her, after Scott suggested they leave it until the adults get back. Now all four of them were collapsed in chairs like Scott, along with Jean.  
  
"Please come home soon, Professor," Scott begged the ceiling. It was all very well being in charge of however many teenagers who refused to go to bed at the right time and ate all the chocolate from the fridge and played tricks on him and whinged all the time and refused to do their homework, but it was quite another having to look after a baby.  
  
There was a loud crash outside the front door.  
  
"That could be them," Kitty said optimistically. Optimistically considering she had a splitting headache and Evan kept throwing bits of paper at her with "Rover" written on them.  
  
There was a thud. Then a crash. Then a very loud "oops" that would have sounded like Logan if Logan happened to go round pretending to be a woman.  
  
"Oh, Lord," mumbled Scott. "Someone go and open the door." He was too tired to even move.  
  
"Can't move," Kurt moaned. "Too tired to move."  
  
"I'm not going," Kitty said.  
  
"I've done the work, I've changed two diapers this evening," Evan sighed.  
  
Jean just clutched her head. "How can one baby cause so much pain and suffering?" she asked.  
  
"It's the way it SCREAMS," Kitty said helpfully. "And the way it always wants you to sing to it, and change it, and feed it, and..." She sighed. "I never knew babies were so awful."  
  
"Go open the door," Scott wailed as he heard another thud. "I think Mr McCoy's trying to run through it or something."  
  
"I'm dead," Evan said.  
  
"M'sleep," mumbled Kurt.  
  
There was a squeal from outside.  
  
"That was Logan," Kitty said.  
  
"Shut up, I'm dead," Evan said.  
  
"Open the door... open it..." Scott said into a cushion. "Someone do it."  
  
There was a loud pounding, like someone hammering their fist on the front door. Probably Mr McCoy.  
  
"Didn't one of them take a key with them?" Kitty asked.  
  
"They probably can't find the lock," Scott replied.  
  
Kurt started snoring. Kitty threw a cushion at him but he ignored it and carried on.  
  
There was a huge crash as the door fell inwards off its hinges. The adults came into the living room (Ororo and Logan were giggling) as the baby woke up and started to scream.  
  
Logan stopped giggling, but Ororo didn't.  
  
"Baby," mumbled Kurt, possibly still asleep, if not, pretending to be. "Make it stop."  
  
No one moved.  
  
"I'm still dead," Evan announced.  
  
"Professor... make it stop..." Scott begged.  
  
"Ah'm goin' insane, make it STOP!" Rogue said, the first thing she'd said for ages. Scott blinked (not that you'd see it, but he did). He'd thought Rogue was asleep. Well, she probably was, but she wasn't now.  
  
Ororo was still giggling, but Logan dug her hard in the ribs. She stopped for a moment and then carried on.  
  
Xavier tried to get his eyes to focus... and his brain... and work out what that noise was.  
  
"I'm going to bed," Mr McCoy informed them, as if he hadn't just ripped the Institute front door off by kicking it in. He headed for the stairs.  
  
"What happened?" The Professor asked, trying to make his voice steady. He was trying to work out if the noise was a fire alarm or a burglar alarm.  
  
"Everythin'," Rogue said drowsily.  
  
"Make that noise stop, I'm dead," Evan said insistently. 


	7. Chapter Seven

"Mmprh... mrr mrr hmph," mumbled Rogue into the arm of the sofa she'd crashed on the night before. Or that morning, depending on which way you look at it. She really didn't want to get up, but someone was snoring really loudly, and all Rogue could imagine was that it must be Kitty. "Shuddup," Rogue mumbled.  
  
Evan sat up. He must have fallen out the chair during the night -well, morning-when he'd been asleep- because he was on the floor. Rogue was on one sofa, mumbling to herself, and Logan and his aunt (well, you know, Evan's aunt, not Logan's) were on the sofa, Ororo on top of Logan. Logan was snoring. Kitty was curled up in an armchair. Everyone else must have found the energy to get to bed, Evan assumed (not much energy needed on Kurt's part. Teleport, and wham, he's there).  
  
Kitty was sucking her thumb, and Rogue was mumbling still. Evan was just about to pull himself up onto the chair and go back to sleep when a scream rung throughout the mansion. A baby's scream. Crud.  
  
"Morning!" Jamie called cheerfully, bounding into the room.  
  
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhh! Thought Rogue. Go away!  
  
Evan stuck his wrist out and stared at his watch. 7:30. Seven thirty? In the morning? On a SATURDAY??? No...  
  
"Go'way," Rogue mumbled. She still wasn't anywhere near awake, and couldn't work out what Jamie was doing in her room; all she knew was that he had to go away right now.  
  
The baby cries had stopped. Evan suddenly sat up. Where WAS Rover? Whoever was looking after her better have been doing a good job of it. Ah, who cares? Evan needed to sleep. Even though the noise had started up again.  
  
The snoring stopped, because Logan had woken up. He was worried when he found he couldn't move, and even more worried when he realised he couldn't move because Ororo was lying on top of him. Now he wished he hadn't drunk so much... screw Charles and his "drinks are on me"... and what on earth was that noise? A baby crying???  
  
"What is everyone doing asleep down here?" Jamie pondered out loud. He shrugged and made his way to the kitchen to get something to eat.  
  
Scott appeared in the doorway, looking stressed. He was holding the baby in his arms. He was mumbling, "milk," as he headed towards the direction of the kitchen to feed her-Betty Ann, as he'd started referring to her as.  
  
"Go awaaay!" Rogue wailed. "Ah need to sleep!"  
  
Logan really wanted to get up (and his leg was starting to go numb) but Ororo was still asleep and he wasn't too keen on being hit by a lightning bolt at this time in the morning. So he tried to stay still. Arrrghhh, no, now his leg was itching and he couldn't reach it...  
  
Scott had got all he'd come for, and came back through to go back upstairs. No one even noticed him, since Betty-Ann/Rover was silent in his arms.  
  
There was a loud ringing as someone rang the doorbell, and then walked straight through the gap where there used to be a door.  
  
"Urrrghhh," Rogue complained. "Shut up."  
  
Whoever it was let themselves into the living room.  
  
"Ah'm tryin' to sleep!" Rogue yelled without even rolling over to see who it was.  
  
Logan grunted in agreement. Except it was impossible to fall asleep with someone asleep on top of you.  
  
"Has anyone seen the-" Scott began, coming back into the living room. "Er, hi Lance, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Er..." Lance said, looking around the room. "Some party you had last night." Then he glanced at Scott. "And where'd that come from?"  
  
"It's just a baby," Scott said casually. "She's called Betty-Ann."  
  
"Right... I just came to see Kitty... she said early this morning..." he looked over at Kitty, who was sat curled up in the armchair asleep, still sucking her thumb. "I guess I was too early."  
  
"Right, well, I have to go and change Betty-Ann, so if you'll excuse me..." Scott said, and left.  
  
Lance stared around him. There were people in various stages of awakeness spread all over the floor and the furniture. "Er, excuse me, anyone?"  
  
"I'm dead," Evan called.  
  
Lance had two choices. One, he could go home and come back later. Two, he could help himself to breakfast at the Institute, since they didn't have any food back home (Fred had had a midnight feast). Hmm, breakfast sounded good. They might even have milk for their cereal. Or perhaps toast! They did have a toaster at the Brotherhood house; it just happened that Todd had broken it when he jammed his tongue in it (yes, it was on at the time). And no one wants Toad slime on their toast.  
  
The kitchen contained a real, working toaster, Jamie, and a whole lot of baby junk. "Where did all this stuff come from?" Lance wondered out loud. "Which one of the X-Geeks has a baby?" He saw Jamie staring at him. He jumped. "Oh, sorry! I didn't know you were there... I just came to get some breakfast..."  
  
Jamie gave him a funny look, but didn't question it.  
  
"Do you know how to work the toaster?" Lance asked.  
  
Meanwhile, upstairs, Jean groaned as Scott reappeared in the doorway. She'd slept on the floor in his room to help keep an eye on Rover/Betty- Ann/Emily, and although Scott acted as if he'd done all the work, he'd actually slept through her crying. Emily crying that is, not Jean. Jean felt like crying though, she was so exhausted. Hopefully it was time to hand the whole thing over to the adults. Xavier would know what to do. So long as he named her Emily.  
  
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Okay, I'd just like to stop here to say a HUGE thank you for all the reviews I've got. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Thanks. Danke. They're great. You're all great. But I'm still at a loss as what to call this baby. I think that when she gets older she may not like being called Rover-Betty- Ann-Emily-Moonshine-Daffodil-Elizabeth-Rebecca-Kurt Junior, plus whatever Logan wants to call her, and then Ororo and Xavier and... well, suggestions, anyone? 


	8. Chapter Eight

"Good morning, Logan," Ororo said, in a dignity-at-all-times sort of way.  
  
"Ah'm STILL tryin' tah sleep!" Rogue wailed.  
  
"Get off me," Logan demanded.  
  
Evan assumed she hadn't moved quickly enough, because Ororo gave a squeal as Logan chucked her to the floor. She looked up and glared at him for just a moment before she realised that in being thrown to the floor her skirt had ridden up, and she dragged it back into place in what she hoped was a dignified manner.  
  
There was a distant, "waaaaaaaaaahh!" Evan sighed. Kitty curled up tighter. Rogue said, "mrph mprhle stop it."  
  
"What the heck is that?" Logan asked.  
  
"It's Rover," Evan said. "And I'm still dead, so if you don't mind, shut up."  
  
"Anyone want some toast?" Lance asked, appearing round the doorway.  
  
Kitty gave a huge yawn and rolled over, apparently awake (and still, as it happens, fully dressed in her clothes from yesterday). "Ugh... um... hi Lance. What are you doing here?"  
  
"You invited me," he said. "Only you weren't outside, so I came in. Do you want some toast?"  
  
"Hmm...? Oh, yeah, sure. I SO have to sort my hair out..." Kitty wandered off in search of a hairbrush.  
  
"Waaaaaaaaaaah!" shrieked "Rover" again.  
  
"Is Rover a dog?" Logan asked cautiously.  
  
"Nope," replied Evan. "She's a baby."  
  
"A baby, right, sure... what the hell is a baby doing here?"  
  
"Shut UP!" Rogue yelled into the chair arm.  
  
Professor Xavier chose this moment to appear in the doorway, wondering what was going on, and apparently slightly hung over.  
  
There is a good reason why telepaths should not get so drunk, and Xavier was just discovering it.  
  
"Uuuurrrghhh," Xavier moaned. He'd never had such a bad headache. But apparently there was no time for that, since the room was in utter chaos. "What's going on?"  
  
"Well, Logan woke up with Auntie O on top of him, Lance is in the kitchen making toast, Rogue's trying to sleep, Jean and Scott are looking after a baby, Kurt's disappeared, oh and the new recruits have had a sleepover and probably trashed every room above the first floor," Evan explained, who was seemingly no longer dead.  
  
Xavier's headache had just multiplied by about ten times. "Okay, well... Evan, get Lance to make himself useful and make breakfast for everyone, and get me a cup of tea with a lot of sugar." Xavier paused. "Logan, go upstairs and make sure the new recruits know they have to fix, repair, or clean up everything they did last night. Ororo, please bring Scott, Jean, and the baby to me. Rogue, you can't sleep here, either get up or go to bed upstairs." He winced. There was no way there'd be any mind reading for him for quite a while.  
  
A few minutes later, Evan and Logan had left the room, Rogue was still trying to sleep (unsuccessfully), Jean and Scott had brought Rover-Emily- Betty-Ann to Xavier, and Ororo had gone off to have a shower.  
  
"Explain," Xavier commanded.  
  
Scott explained. Jean explained. Rogue offered a few words to help put the story together. The part where the adults had come home blind drunk was tactfully left out.  
  
"Uurgghhh," replied Xavier when they'd finished. "Er, so what about the front door?"  
  
"Mr McCoy ripped it off last night," Rogue said honestly from her place on the sofa where she was getting up. Slowly.  
  
Rover-Emily-Betty-Ann was asleep in Jean's arms. She gave a little sneeze in her sleep and stretched her arms out. "She's called Emily," Jean said.  
  
"Betty-Ann," argued Scott.  
  
"And you have no idea where she came from?" Scott and Jean shook their heads. "Well, first of all we have to try and track her parents down. The best thing we can do with her for now is to look after her."  
  
"What do we do if we can't find her parents?" Scott asked.  
  
"Well, we'll have to find out if she possesses the X-gene. If she does, the safest place for her to stay would be here. If not, I suppose we'll have to hand her to the police, who will find her a family to adopt or foster her. Anyway, I have to get started on researching where she might have come from." He had no idea where to start looking, but Hank McCoy would know. He always seemed to know what to do for this sort of thing.  
  
"Er..." Evan stuck his head around the door. "Can I um, hold Rover?" he looked embarrassed.  
  
"I really have an urge to slap you," Jean said, but fairly quietly. "She is not called Rover!!" 


	9. Chapter Nine

"Calm down, Jean," Xavier interrupted. "There will be no slapping anyone."  
  
"Aww, he's no fun," Jean mumbled to herself.  
  
"I am psychic, you know," Xavier warned.  
  
"Evan can hold the baby," Jean said, quickly changing the subject. "Here you go."  
  
Evan held his arms out and Rover-Emily-Betty-Ann was promptly sick all down his front.  
  
"Ew, Rover!" Evan said. "Oh, let me hold her anyway."  
  
"You promise to stop calling her Rover?"  
  
"No," said Evan, and took her anyway. "Here, you can go and wash my shirt, can't you?" he asked, pulling it off and handing it to Jean.  
  
"Hmph," replied Jean. "I'll stuff it in the washing machine for you."  
  
Jamie chose that moment to appear from the kitchen with a notepad and biro in his hand and wearing an apron. "Breakfast orders, everyone?" he asked professionally. Then he added, "Lance made me do it. He told me to come out and pretend to be a waitress."  
  
"Coffee," Rogue ordered.  
  
"Coffee for Rogue..." Jamie mumbled.  
  
"Milk for Rover and cereal with lots of milk for me," Evan added.  
  
*BAMF* "Bacon, eggs, sausages, baked beans," said Kurt, who had just teleported in.  
  
Jamie had no idea how Kurt knew he was taking orders, and then realised he was wearing his waitress outfit. "That all?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm.  
  
"Ach, nein, I forgot the tomatoes and the toast!" Kurt said cheerfully.  
  
*********  
  
Several hours later, Hank McCoy was still busy searching for any reports of abandoned, lost or kidnapped babies, along with scanning the Institute security tapes from the night before. He'd been searching for the last two hours with no trace of anything of any use. Lance had served up breakfast for everyone, and, after eating even more than Kurt, had gone out for a walk with Kitty. Jamie had kept his apron on until he'd served up everyone's breakfast, and then taken it off and hidden it so no one could make him wear it again. Xavier had taken some strong painkillers and headed back to bed. Rogue had finally prised herself off the sofa (the coffee helped) and gone to take a shower. Jean, Evan, Scott and Kurt were left in charge of Rover-Emily-Betty-Ann while Logan and Ororo tried to work out what had happened the night before.  
  
"Kurt Junior," Kurt said again, stubbornly.  
  
"Emily," said Jean. "Because she's a girl."  
  
"Und?" Kurt asked. "She can still be called Kurt Junior!"  
  
"Everyone should write their favourite name on a piece of paper, and draw one out of a hat," Evan offered. "That'd be fair."  
  
"Er, okay," said Jean, nervously. Unless she could use her telekinesis to fix it...  
  
And so, when Kitty got back, everyone wrote their favourite names on a bit of paper and dropped it into Lance's goldfish bowl-helmet he happened to have brought with him.  
  
Just for the reference, here is a large selection of people's choices:  
  
Kurt: Kurt Junior  
  
Kitty: Catherine Anne Elizabeth Amanda Lucinda Jessica Lou Marie  
  
Rogue: Alexandria  
  
Scott: Betty Ann  
  
Jean: Emily  
  
Evan: Rover  
  
Ororo: Jessi  
  
The new recruits (they all more or less wanted the same name, so they entered one piece. And besides, they were currently busy cleaning up): Moonbeam or Moonshine  
  
Logan: Marshmallow or Ella  
  
Xavier: Mary Jane  
  
Lance (well, he was there at the time, so he got to choose too. After all, he did make breakfast): Lyndsey Marie, Lynn for short (that was Rogue's second choice so he "borrowed" it off her having no real ideas of his own)  
  
Jamie (who refused to agree on Moonshine since the other newbies had laughed at his apron): Jamie  
  
Mr McCoy: Rachael  
  
Xavier put his hand inside the hat and picked out a folded up piece of paper. Everyone held their breath...  
  
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And you'll have to wait until next chapter to find out which one got picked. Ha. Yes, of course Logan wants to call a baby Marshmallow!!!  
  
And Miah Tolensky, I don't know why Lyndsey Marie. Maybe I read it in a book once. And I like the name Lynn, short for Lyndsey or something (my middle name's Carolyn... hmm, this is the part where it gets a tiny bit confusing, huh?) And Marie is Rogue's real name (at least, it is in the movie). And I prefer the Lyndsey spelling as apposed to Lindsey or Lindsay because I like the Lynn part of it. And it's prettier. 


	10. Chapter Ten

"And it is... Emily," Xavier announced.  
  
"Nooooooo!" wailed Evan.  
  
"Nein!" wailed Kurt.  
  
"Cheat," Rogue mumbled.  
  
"Yeah, you cheated!" Evan said. "Just because you didn't want her to be called Rover!"  
  
Jean crossed her arms. "I did not cheat."  
  
"You did, you used your powers and made sure your choice came out."  
  
"I didn't!" Jean said, more annoyed. And worried.  
  
"Ah think we should draw another name out," Rogue suggested.  
  
"But I didn't cheat!" Jean said irately. She didn't KNOW she'd cheated; she'd just glanced at it and hoped for the best. Okay, so attempting to cheat is morally wrong, and Jean was aware of that, but how could a kid go through life with a name like Rover?  
  
Xavier was about to tell them all to stop arguing when Mr McCoy appeared. "I can't find anything to suggest where she came from," he announced, "and I've got the test results back, and she..."  
  
There was a tense silence.  
  
"Does possess the x-gene."  
  
"Yay!" said Kurt.  
  
There was a brief moment of yaying and happy shouts and big grins and so on, until Xavier put the "Emily" paper back in the hat and sent everyone outside so he could try again.  
  
"We're keeping her!" Kitty shrieked the moment they'd closed the door, momentarily forgetting the horrors of being kept awake all night by a screaming baby.  
  
"Unless her parents come back," Scott said sensibly. And boringly.  
  
"Shut up," said Jean.  
  
There was silence for a moment, and then the excited chatter started up again. It carried on until Scott noticed the door had opened again and the professor was standing there, waiting to tell them the results.  
  
"Ahem," said Scott. Jean shut up. She nudged Kitty, who also stopped, which stopped Kurt. Kurt stamped on Evan's foot, who then shut up, and everyone else (including, it has to be said, Ororo and Logan, although they were more discussing whose fault "last night" was) stopped talking and look at Xavier expectantly.  
  
"Well," began Xavier. "I drew two names, for a first and a middle name."  
  
Kitty began cursing under her breath. He couldn't have picked hers then, because hers had about six names in it.  
  
"And I have the results here. Her first name is to be..." he paused.  
  
"Just tell us!" Evan wailed impatiently.  
  
"Okay, and her first name will be... Alexandria."  
  
"Yess!" yelled Rogue.  
  
"I believe that was Rogue's choice," Xavier said, smiling. "And her second name will be Lyndsey Marie."  
  
"Yess!" said Rogue again.  
  
"Which was Rogue's second choice," Xavier added. "But Lance's first."  
  
"Hmph," said Kurt.  
  
"Alex is cool," Evan admitted grudgingly.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Scott, thinking of his brother.  
  
"Not as good as Emily, but still good," Jean agreed.  
  
"Good, I'm glad that's settled," Xavier said.  
  
Alexandria Lyndsey Marie gurgled happily in Jean's arms. "Aww, she likes her name," Jean cooed.  
  
"You'll always be Rover to me," Evan whispered to her. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Sorry this chapter's been so long coming!!! There's just been so many other fics to update, and life's been sort of... I dunno, but I'm trying to make excuses here. A lack of inspiration is the main reason really, I think.  
  
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Alexandria Lyndsey Marie gave a great howl of hunger. At least, Evan concluded that she was hungry.  
  
"I'll feed her," Jean informed everyone else.  
  
"No, I will!" Kitty insisted.  
  
"She likes me best," Evan added stubbornly.  
  
All three glanced at Kurt. He was singing softly to Alexandria in German while she whimpered. He looked up. "Vas?" he asked, and then remembered to switch back to English so the others could understand him. "I vant her to be able to speak German."  
  
Rogue, who had been standing around hoping to be allowed to hold her, said, "Ah thahnk that's a great idea."  
  
Kitty wasn't so pleased. She knew what Kurt was like. "If her first word is like, 'vati' or something Kurt, you will be like SO dead!"  
  
Kurt tried to look innocent as if the idea of getting Alex to call him "daddy" in German had never occurred to him.  
  
Alexandria was still whimpering. She wasn't bothered who fed her as long as someone did it and someone did it soon.  
  
* * *  
  
Most of the mutants at the Institute spent the rest of the weekend begging to get a change to feed and play with Alexandria and begging for someone else to change her. Except for Ororo and Logan who spent the rest of the weekend arguing over what had happened on Friday night/Saturday morning. By Monday everyone was so tired that nearly everyone overslept and Logan had to go round and bang on everyone's doors to make sure they got up in time for school.  
  
"Can't we stay home with Alex?" Kitty whined to the professor. "Just today... she'll miss us and who will sing to her when she gets grumpy?"  
  
"I will," Xavier replied. "You are all going to school today."  
  
There was a group groan. But Xavier refused to give in and everyone had to go to school. Kurt tried to pretend he was ill, but Ororo didn't believe for a second that Kurt had measles, chicken pox, tonsillitis, a migraine AND diphtheria. Besides, he couldn't go passing any of that on to Alexandria, could he? And his image inducer reappeared almost as soon as he reported it missing, hidden under a sofa cushion. So Kurt slumped slowly out of the hole where the front door used to be with everyone else.  
  
It was one of those long, math-filled days that seem to drag on forever. It was hot and stuffy in Kitty's maths room and she couldn't concentrate. Her teacher droned on about irrational numbers for ages, but she didn't take in a single word. She just wondered if the professor knew that Alex's favourite song was "Ich habe ein Pony" (Kurt had taught it to her).  
  
And it took Logan up until about half way through that Monday to work something out. About Alexandria. And suddenly he had a very good idea where she'd come from. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Sorry this has been a long time coming, okay? I've been busy with other fics, and X-Mas, and stuff.  
  
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It had been all the business with Ororo that had meant Logan had been too busy to remember what had happened, and yet, at the same time, it was the business with Ororo that had reminded him. It had all happened, as far as he remembered, around nine months ago...  
  
Logan KNEW he should know his limits with drink by now. But no. There was that woman. That woman who'd been buying him drinks. It was her fault. He never got so drunk when he was paying. He'd been telling her all about him, about the institute, and probably a whole lot more than he should be telling some random woman he picked up in a bar. So yes, she knew where he lived. And he also knew where she lived, because he'd been to her flat.  
  
Damn.  
  
Why, Logan wondered, did these things happen to him? Why did he have to accept the drinks? Why did he have to go with her back to her flat? It was obvious though really. Logan did enjoy free drink, and by the time he'd gone back to her place, he was far too drunk to stagger all the way back home. These things happened to him, he thought with a groan, because he was an easy target. If you were female, not too ugly and you threw a few free drinks at him, he'd be in your flat in a couple of hours. Or, in Ororo's case, on the sofa back home with her.  
  
If he could remember where the flat was, he could... well no, he couldn't do much at all. What was there to do? He couldn't remember where it was anyway, and if he did he couldn't go round there and blame her for dumping a baby on his doorstep, because it was possible it wasn't hers. It was even possible it was hers and not his.  
  
Xavier was in his office with Alexandria, singing to her. Logan wanted to laugh. He'd never heard Xavier singing, and certainly not while he was sober. He looked up as Logan pushed the door open.  
  
"Oh, hello Logan," he said cheerfully.  
  
"Er..." said Logan. "Can I... can I hold it?" Her, he reminded himself. Her.  
  
Xavier didn't seem to notice Logan's mistake and handed the baby over.  
  
She was heavier than Logan expected, but she was gurgling happily. She huddled up close to him. It was easier than Logan had first thought, and he gently let her rest in his arms, supporting her head so it didn't loll backwards. Now, he thought, I can look at her and with one glance I can assure myself that she isn't mine.  
  
He saw a pair of familiar eyes staring back at him, and the hair colour was like his, only a shade or two darker. And --oh, bummer-- she had her daddy's nose. She wasn't going to thank him for that when she was older.  
  
Logan nearly dropped her. This was his child. Alexandria Lyndsey Marie was his. It was suddenly so obvious; he didn't know why anyone else hadn't noticed yet. But maybe if he never said anything, no one else would ever know.  
  
"Are you all right, Logan?" Xavier asked. He'd seen the shock on his face, seen him nearly drop the baby. And he was psychic, after all. He wasn't going to go probing Logan's mind to find out, but there was clearly something going on.  
  
"Oh, yeah, great," Logan lied.  
  
The professor held back, knowing Logan would tell him when he was ready. "She's just about ready for another feeding, I think," he said. Being able to read minds was very useful whenever Alexandria wanted anything. "Perhaps you'd like to do it?" 


End file.
